Time to vent

Do you ever take just a few minutes out of your day to think where you stand? In life, at work, in a relationship? And please, take my verb lightly as I don’t mean standing in an argument or with others but simply, are you where you want to be? Is this right?

Lately, this subject has been weighing HEAVY on me. Heavy meaning staring off into the cornfields for a good half hour and/or up till 2 am forcing sleep. Could be that I am again being far to hard on myself or expecting to much to soon but why apologize or step back? If my personality is pushing me to go, go, go.. why listen to my mothers advice of ‘ Sarah, you have to slow down sometimes and just be?’ Yes, great woman and advice but again if I do.. I do not see myself on the path in which I am supposed to be.

If someone would like to sit on their couch allowing life and other peoples success pass them by everyday, that is all they will accomplish, that is what their personality is telling them to do. Mine is telling me to make the most of each situation, get ahead, stay ahead and strive to make the most of myself.

Well, that part of me very well may be because of my workaholic, real estate junkie father, Whom I envy in a way.

Unfortunately, as I embrace this aspect of myself daily, it is also my down fall. Going, going, going. That is all I do. At work I am keeping my mind busy. After work I am visiting this person, eating out, drinking there, seeing a show, simply just NEVER sitting. This then leading to my exhaustion.

I am only 23.

I have always been told I am far ahead of my age. Cool, great, and I thank you.. but I’m terrified to waste that. Should I find this a compliment? Yes, in some ways.

I hate to waste time in life and am constantly thinking of my next step. I know this because of the way I handle personal relationships and work experiences. The minute I see weakness, I want to run in the fear of wasting my own time. Call me selfish.. it’s the truth.

My point is, to myself, to my blog, to whomever reads this. Analyze where you are, but never over analyze as you might end up bag shit like me ranting through a computer screen wondering if your output on life it wrong or right.

If where you are fits, enjoy. If where you are feels unfitting, off, and draining.. time to find that next step.

I may be an over analyzer, but I also know I am growing and on to something great.

Your place is out there. Listen to yourself.

& let me tell you.. my place is NOT the Midwest!


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